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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 9:51 am 
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des2 wrote:
Marion Arnott wrote:
Natalie's task is over and because she had failed to follow one of her instructions (for the life of me I cannot think which one


I suspect there wasn't a failure. Just a BB pretend one so that a single HM could give good headcase without a suitcase.


I think you're right. Poor old BB - where were Streife and Discord? All he got was Romeo volunteering without batting an eyelash and then lounging elegantly about the house in sumptuous silk.
Must do better, BB!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:23 am 
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Pete is right. "Alfie", in this instance, is Gareth Thomas. Or Gareth Thomas is "Alfie". I also have a sword called "Alfie" but a) it's not on Big Brother and b) that's another story.

Forgot to tune in last night.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 7:02 pm 
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Journeymouse wrote:
Pete is right. "Alfie", in this instance, is Gareth Thomas. Or Gareth Thomas is "Alfie". I also have a sword called "Alfie" but a) it's not on Big Brother and b) that's another story.

Forgot to tune in last night.


Forgot to tune in? (sigh).
The least you can do to make it up to us is tell us the story of Alfie the Sword!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:53 pm 
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True Confessions

Michael is doomed - that snoring - no, he has to go. Remember the late Ken Russell? Evicted for that very reason.

It was an evening of snippets, quite interesting snippets, and I suppose we'd better make the most of them before BB fastens on to the fauxmance because after that we'll see nothing but that.

I swung from being irritated by Natasha to being sorry for her. What did she mean by saying she liked being pregnant but not the bit after it? I mean, her childen might be watching the show! I really hope thay weren't because of the grilling Michael gave her about her 8 year error (her excuse is that she was only 20 - 20 for 8 years - what a trick!). he was determined to find out what she is famous for and she told her tale, seeming to find it hilarious, judging by the cackling laugh and the 'on stand by' smile.
It cannot be easy to admit that you're famous for infamy, nor to have to answer a question like who's the father of the children? And the more he pressed, the more she answered, and the more tentative her smile became. Michael went too far. He doesn't have the look of an innocent virgin about him - I suspect he has no right to cast stones.
Never mind, Natasha - he's doomed, I tell ya, doomed!

Andrew finds it difficult to let anyone else talk about themselves. Denise spoke about her depressive years and he was right in there with a sympathetic 'Oh, i know how it feels - I've been there...' plus I'm dyslexic, plus I had a breakdown, plus I was a Mummy's boy, plus I was very unhappy and very very low, plus i had panic attacks...
Denise - go cover yourself with shame for thinking your troubles could ever be in the same league as Andrew's!
He even had a tale of woe about being mauled by the judges on X factor. He wasn't at his best that day, due to a troublesome girlfriend (he really isn;t gay, y'know)They actually compared him to a Kellog's Cornflakes advert, which made me laugh. But whose sorry that they missed him now that he's rich and famous? he asked smiling.
I expect Simon Cowell hasn't had a decent night's sleep in years fretting over missing Andrew.

Romeo also has problems. The silk jimjams lent to him by Michael put him in a state of perpetual motion overnight, slipping and slithering all over the place.
I had a pair of satin sheets once - I can vouch for the discomfort: one minute lying there, the next WHOOSH! shooting off the bottom of the bed.
Get cotton, Romeo.

Hms wwere thrilled to hear the twins' account of life in the Playboy mansion. The girls talked about painted bodies a lot and how sweat made the paint run. Also the utter control exerted over their every waking moment. Their sole task was to be decorative. Unfortunately, all the men visiting the house were old. Painted and old.
Moving swiftly on...

Tonight's task was a True Confessions game where HMs had to admit to their many failings. I felt a bit uncomfortable with it as I'm not really interested in who has slept with a reality TV star or her brother-in-law...
But there was one interesting confession - Kristina and Karissa were arrested for aggravated battery with a beer bottle. And there was me thinking they were a pair of barbie dolls with the personality left out. Perhaps the assault was committed after a hard day in the Playboy House.

Gareth confessed to concealing his sexuality for years, even from his wife. His life was hell, he said. I don't expect Mrs Gareth's life was exactly heaven when you think about it. Andrew leapt in right away with the tale of misunderstandings about his own sexuality, except that his problem is the reverse of Gareth's...Somehow he was merely silly is comparison with Gareth's seriousness.
I wonder when he will realise that his sexuality (whatever it is) isn't the problem - his self obsession is! I did enjoy Natasha and Denise discussing his orientation though - they left us in no doubt of their verdict.

In the meantime, Natasha was being grilled yet again about the 8 year error, this time by Nicola who wanted all the gory details. Enough already - she;s a silly and treacherous creature, but she hasn't murdered anyone.

Almost the most cringeworthy scene of the evening was when Kirk chatted up Georgia. In minutes he blurted out how much he fancied her, and followed that with a demand to know if her boobs are real. A 4 letter exclamation of delight and wonder was his response when he was told that they are real. Then he repeated the question so that he could exclaim again.
BB is now asking him about the 'relashunship'. let us put Kirk and Georgia out before the programme descends into yet another fake romance.
However, Kirk did outcringe himself in a task - the geography task where he claimed not to know where America or Australia or South Africa is - it was too Jade Goody for words. An act. An imposture.
Why would anyone want to appear THAT thick?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 7:46 am 
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Marion Arnott wrote:
However, Kirk did outcringe himself in a task - the geography task where he claimed not to know where America or Australia or South Africa is - it was too Jade Goody for words. An act. An imposture.
Why would anyone want to appear THAT thick?


I was about to ask the same question! I sincerely believe it was not an imposture and, if so, that is a truly incredible state of affairs regarding his lack of geography knowledge. In the pub quiz team I've been a member of for 15 years, we always consider ourselves generally weak on geography... but Kirk was up an Alternate World creek without a compass, a swamp without a sextant.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:23 am 
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The body language during Kirk's test was fantastic. I mean: I'm an Aspie and have difficulty reading facial expressions and body language and even I could see it! Wow!

He had no interest in it as soon as he realised it was something he couldn't do. For the sake of his own pride, he kept with it long enough to stick the Essex pin in the map and then he got the next wrong and started to shut down. Not that there's a person to engage in the diary room but he was looking anywhere but the camera / speaker / whatever it is dead ahead.

That's the kind of clip that they should show to kids for "this is how not even trying due to fear of failure looks".

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:31 am 
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Marion Arnott wrote:
Forgot to tune in? (sigh).
The least you can do to make it up to us is tell us the story of Alfie the Sword!

When I started historical fencing, I started keeping an eye out for usable swords (as you do). One day I found a photo of a knackered looking training sabre with a bit of curve to it - on a sword dealer's site.

Now, the dealer was more interested in sharps, so his description was fairly dismissive, so I thought it was just a bit of tat that I could rehilt if I ever got advanced enough at the blacksmithing. As it was the same price as the modern training sabres, which aren't great anyway, I bought it.

I took him into fencing with me and my instructor took one look at it and said, "Do you have any idea what you've got here?"

I looked blank. He laughed.

"This is an original, antique Hutton training sabre." (which would make it about a century old and worth several hundred pounds to the right buyer)

I am banned from using said training sabre, if only because we've found that beginners try to knock lumps out of him. I will never be attempting a rehilt...

There are some photos of Alfie here.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 2:58 pm 
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J/Mouse - that was really interesting. If I had been asked to picture a sabre, I'd have thought of something with a broader blade and a bigger curve. A cutlass, I suppose? You learn something every day!

As to Kirk - I'm ganging up on Des and Mouse. I do not believe anyone is as thick as he makes himself out to be. I REFUSE to believe it! South Africa in the frozen north?
We shall have to keep an eye on him for little slips that will reveal what he is up to!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:03 pm 
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Having discussed the ssex lad, maybe now is an appropriate time for an Essex joke:


The A12 is the main trunk road in Essex

As a trucker stops for a red light on the A12 a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The
trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are
losing some of your load!"

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck
stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of
her car runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the
window.

As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is
Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the
truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name
is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs
back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he
says,............

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter and I'm driving the bloody gritter.......


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 3:27 pm 
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I thought the punchline was going to be to offer her some of his load from his tipper.

I know the A12 well, living in Clacton, Essex - and being an Essex man through and through.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:29 pm 
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des2 wrote:
I thought the punchline was going to be to offer her some of his load from his tipper.

I know the A12 well, living in Clacton, Essex - and being an Essex man through and through.



Is this familiarity with the Essex area the reason you believe in Kirk? :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:41 pm 
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He probably thinks Essexist jokes are about Linda Blair.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:19 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:26 pm 
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I wouldn't necessarily say that Kirk was that thick (or that ignorant, technically) but he was blatantly "not trying" after he realised he wasn't going to manage it.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:30 pm 
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Marion Arnott wrote:
J/Mouse - that was really interesting. If I had been asked to picture a sabre, I'd have thought of something with a broader blade and a bigger curve. A cutlass, I suppose? You learn something every day!


Oh, and I forgot to say that real, military, used for fighting sabre is generally thicker bladed and has a touch more of a curve. It depends on which era and pattern as to how much of a curve but training blades are generally about a third ot a half the weight of the real thing.

And a cutlass would look like a sawn off version, with a thicker / heavier blade but about two thirds as long (I think).

Any time you want a tour around the Royal Armouries at Leeds, I'm not your man - if only because you'd have difficulty unsticking me from a few of the display cases. Shiny! Sharp! My preciousssss!

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